So Precious

precious (presh'es) adj.1. of high cost or worth 2. Dear; beloved 3. Affectedly dainty

The best thing about death is life. The best thing about sorrow is joy. The best thing about alone is together. The best thing about grief and loss is the love it requires.

Last week, on the way to Judy's funeral in Prescott, I stopped in Tucson and stayed the night with my brother Martin. He and his family are really good at just loving the bejeebers out of me. I was especially grateful for their skilled loving while I was in the midst of tears and grief. Martin's bear hugs and contagious belly laughs, my sister-in-law Diana's irresistible sense of humor and sweet smile, my niece Miya's chubby little arms reaching out to be picked up...oh-so-good, so so soooo good. My cuddly lovebug nephew, Xander, has this charming way of speaking straight to my heart. He snuggles up to me puts his hands on my face and says "Oh, you are just so precious!" He puts his fingers on my mouth and says, "Your lips are beautiful and your hair is so pretty," as he pulls my hair over my face. Whenever I go to their house, Xander meets me at the door, latches on to me, and pulls me away to show me the new toy he has or the new game he has made up. At 5 years old, Xander loves without fear or hesitation, his affections are undisguised and uncalculated. He simply adores his people and lets them know it.

At the hospital this week I held an elderly man, Billy, in position as he got an ultrasound of his aorta and kidneys. The doctor's thought that Billy might die of heart failure in the next couple of days. He writhed and cursed in pain from the pressure of the ultrasound on his abdomen. He was angry and hurting as he cussed out each of us in the room. But then he cried outloud and he reached out his hand toward me, a plea for comfort. Billy is a huge man (probably 6 feet tall 300lbs) and his hand was large and strong with wrinkled papery skin. As his giant hand enveloped mine, I couldn't help but adore him. This week I am overwhelmed with affection for those around me. I feel like Xander. I am totally enamored. I can't help but love everyone I encounter. I look at someone and regardless of age or gender or disposition, I am charmed. I find myself caught up in their every detail like a passionate lover....the words they use, the glisten on their teeth as they smile, the way their hair falls just so, the mismatched clothing, the rough patch of dry skin, the crow's feet and blue sapphire earrings, pot belly, stretch marks, calloused hands and crooked teeth. When I look at those around me, even complete strangers, I just want to climb up into their lap, put my hands on their face and say, "Oh, you are just so precious!" When I pray with or for someone, I ask God to allow me to feel His love for that person. I think that this week has been the closest I have ever been to really understanding God's heart for us. Unconditional. Generous. Patient. Full of Grace and Mercy. I am simply captivated. Every single person I encounter is just so stinkin' precious that I can't hardly stand it. I just want to soak them up, to know their heart and their mind, to listen to what is important to them and care for what matters to them.

I have been entirely slow this week. Every moment captures my full attention. Every second moves my heart. God beckons me to stillness. Slow it down. Take a pause. Breathe. Take it in. Take it all in.

I am delighted. Delighted in you. Oh, you are just so precious!