Barenaked

The women were beautiful. Naked and beautiful. Standing bare skin. Unashamed and lovely. These two gorgeous grandmothers had just stripped off their swimsuits, goggles, and rubber caps. They had been swimming at the outdoor pool in the penetrating New Mexico sun. Their brown, wrinkly, sagging skin now fully exposed to the humid, fragrant air of the women's locker room. They chatted and laughed, sharing their lives without any thought given to the fact that they were naked. Naked and beautiful. I tried not to stare, but they were just so lovely. And I thought "When I get old, I want to be her." I want to be a white haired, aged beauty swimming in the desert sun and doing yoga. I want to stand buck naked in the locker room with my old lady friend and laugh and laugh and laugh, and not care that I am naked or wrinkly or sagging.

I want to be the old woman in this photo, Noramaya, who is hands down the most joyful person I have ever met. She lives in a tiny village in Nepal, a full 2 days mountain hike from the nearest town. When I met her, we did not share a language or a history, but I did understand her words, "Dhanyabad Yesu" which means "Thank you, Jesus". Though I didn't understand her words, through a translator I heard a little about her life. Her worn skin and her humble home told me a thousand and one stories of hard labor, poverty, rough times, physical pain, and struggle. She and her husband Sunni fed us water buffalo and pigeon on their best plates. They treated me and my travel companions like honored family members. And we all just stared and hugged and touched each other and smiled and held hands and smiled some more. She had just encountered Jesus 2 years previous and was head over heels in love with Him. Completely taken by her pure blissful smile, I knew she was a new woman who had sloughed off her heartaches and stood before us wholly transformed. Her photo hangs on my bedroom wall to remind me of the absolute joy of knowing Yesu. Dhanyabad Yesu!

This week, I had a hurtful conversation where I was more defensive than I like to be and less patient than I normally am. I got caught up in my past for an evening and some old heart wounds were dredged up and brought to the conscious edge of my mind. And in the thick of heavy emotions, I received a bouquet of purple irises which I love because they remind me of my grandmother who loved purple irises. Okay, maybe they weren't real irises, maybe it was a photo of purple irises attached to one of those, normally annoying chain emails. However, these virtual purple irises spoke to my heart and made me think "What would my grandmother say to me at this very moment?" Which then actually made me listen to the voice of my future old lady self, the old wise woman I hope to someday become. What would old lady Tiffany say to me at this very moment? I read a quote this week from Ralph Waldo Emerson:

The years teach much which the days never knew

That night, as I watched a fiery sunset paint the Mesilla sky, my wise old lady future self said "You'll see. Just wait. Someday you'll understand and know." My God tells me that He's not done with me yet. That I've still got a lot of growing to do. And He's got a lot of restoring to do. In the meantime, I am moving forward one stepping stone at a time. Lead on Kindly Light, one step enough for me.

I hope to graciously receive the absolute gift of old age. When I get old, I want to be alive and I want to be graceful, generous, and kind. I want to be fearless and wise. I want to laugh loudly. I want to be unarmed and undisguised. I want to be barenaked and honest. Not only in my skin, but in my heart and mind and soul. I want to be 85 years old and falling in love with my Jesus again, for the quadrillionth time. I can't hardly wait to see what my years teach me that I do not yet understand in my youthful days.